Welcome to the New Parent Academy! I’m Nancy, and I’m thrilled to have you here.
In this 20-session series, we’ll explore the five core dimensions of learning power: intrinsic motivation, emotional self-regulation, habit formation, competitive learning ability, and resilience. Through this journey, I’ll guide you step by step in cultivating self-driven learning habits in your child.
To help you easily identify learning challenges and find solutions, we’ve developed a unique Five-Color Thinking Hat System. Whenever your child faces a learning obstacle, you can use this system to quickly pinpoint which aspect needs attention and apply the right strategy.
Let’s break it down:
🎩 White Thinking Hat → Intrinsic Motivation
🎩 Red Thinking Hat → Emotional Self-Regulation
🎩 Yellow Thinking Hat → Habit Formation
🎩 Blue Thinking Hat → Competitive Learning Skills
🎩 Black Thinking Hat → Learning Resilience
Today, we’ll start with the White Thinking Hat, which focuses on intrinsic motivation.
Why Does Your Child Lack Motivation?
A child’s ability to learn independently doesn’t come from intelligence alone—it comes from their mindset.
Think about this: Why do some kids take charge of their learning, while others need constant reminders?
It’s not just discipline or parental involvement—it’s how they view their own abilities.
This brings us to today’s key concept: The Growth Mindset.
A child with a growth mindset believes that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort. They embrace challenges, persist through difficulties, and strive to improve.
On the other hand, a child with a fixed mindset believes that their abilities are innate and unchangeable. They tend to avoid challenges because they fear failure. Instead of seeing setbacks as learning opportunities, they give up easily.
To help your child develop a growth mindset, parents need to apply three powerful strategies:
1️⃣ Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Instead of evaluating results, describe the effort your child puts into learning.
Try using this phrase: “I noticed…”
🚫 Instead of: “You got an A—you’re so smart!”
✅ Say: “I noticed you worked really hard on this assignment, and your effort really paid off.”
This shift teaches children that success comes from effort, not just talent.
2️⃣ Emphasize Effort, Not Talent
Praise the work behind the achievement, rather than making it about natural ability.
Use this phrase: “You accomplished this because you…”
🚫 Instead of: “You’re a math genius!”
✅ Say: “You figured out that tough math problem because you kept practicing and trying different approaches.”
This encourages perseverance and resilience instead of making them feel like success depends on “being naturally gifted.”
3️⃣ Avoid Labels—Describe Actions Instead
Labels—both positive and negative—can shape how kids see themselves.
🚫 Instead of: “You’re so lazy”
✅ Say: “I noticed that you didn’t finish your homework. What do you think got in the way?”
🚫 Instead of: “You’re such a troublemaker”
✅ Say: “I saw that you had a hard time sitting still during class today. Is something on your mind?”
When kids see behavior as something they can change, they’re more likely to improve instead of feeling stuck in a label.
What Does a Growth Mindset Look Like in Real Life?
Example: My Daughter’s Learning Journey
When my daughter started middle school, her teacher asked her to give a speech on time management and study habits.
She hesitated:
“Mom, I don’t know what to say. My classmates are all naturally smart and disciplined—how can I teach them anything?”
I asked her:
“What do you mean by ‘naturally smart’?”
She explained that her classmates:
✔ Studied on their own without reminders
✔ Managed their schedules without adult supervision
✔ Challenged each other with complex math problems for fun
Later, as I met her teachers and classmates, I saw the truth: These kids weren’t born this way—they had built strong learning habits over time.
This was a powerful realization for my daughter. She began to see that being a great student wasn’t about being “born smart” but about building skills step by step.
And guess what? That simple shift in thinking transformed the way she approached learning.
Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset: The Key Differences
A growth mindset child believes:
✔ Effort leads to improvement
✔ Mistakes are learning opportunities
✔ Challenges make me stronger
A fixed mindset child believes:
❌ Ability is fixed—you’re either smart or you’re not
❌ Mistakes = Failure
❌ Challenges mean I’m not good enough, so I should avoid them
If your child struggles with motivation, the first step is changing their mindset!
Practical Example: Turning Frustration into Growth
Before Growth Mindset Thinking:
🔹 Your child gets a math problem wrong.
🔹 You get frustrated and say:
🚫 “How did you get this wrong again?! You weren’t paying attention! Rewrite it five times.”
How does your child feel? Discouraged. Defeated. Maybe even convinced they’re bad at math.
After Growth Mindset Thinking:
🔹 Your child gets a math problem wrong.
🔹 You say:
✅ “I noticed that you got this problem wrong. What part was tricky for you? Do you want to try again a different way?”
Why this works:
✔ It separates the mistake from their intelligence
✔ It encourages them to figure out the solution instead of fearing failure
And when they finally get it right? Reinforce the process:
✅ “You worked hard and tried a new approach, and now you got it! That’s how learning happens.”
The Science Behind a Growth Mindset
Dr. Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist, conducted a famous study on growth mindset.
She divided students into two groups:
- Group 1 was told: “You’re so smart!”
- Group 2 was told: “You worked really hard on this!”
Later, when given a choice between an easy or difficult task, 90% of the “hard work” group chose the challenging option. They wanted to learn more.
But most of the “smart” group chose the easier task—they feared failing and “looking less smart.”
By simply changing how we praise our children, we can shape how they handle challenges!
Ready to Help Your Child Become a Self-Motivated Learner?
Those “perfect students” you admire? They aren’t just naturally gifted. They’ve developed the right mindset and study habits.
And the great news? So can your child!
Here’s what you can start doing today:
📌 Focus on effort → Use: “I noticed…” instead of labels
📌 Praise the process → Use: “You accomplished this because you…”
📌 Encourage challenges → Normalize mistakes as part of learning
As parents, we set the foundation for our children’s growth mindset. When we change how we talk to them, we empower them to take control of their learning and future.
📢 Join me in our next session, where we’ll dive deeper into building intrinsic motivation—helping your child shift from “I have to study” to “I want to learn.”
Let’s unlock your child’s full potential—together! 🚀
